Monday, May 30, 2011

My UK Tour (Not including Morrissey)

Henry David Thoreau

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry David Thoreau

Will I ever get to see Morrissey perform live? It just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me this time. Again.

Tour Dates
Here are our tour dates:

June 21-July 6 ISLE OF WIGHT (Lots of family fun!)
July 7-9 LIVERPOOL (Magical Mystery Tour and we get to see Moe, Andy, and Henry)
July 11 DURHAM
July 12 YORK
July 13-17 LONDON AND ENVIRONS (Staying in Buntingford with Roland's godparents)

The only way to see Morrissey would probably be to leave the Isle of Wight some time at the end of June and drive up North. I suppose if I were a truer, more dedicated fan, I would make it happen. However, bear in mind the name of this blog: My Life Without Morrissey!

I may sound apathetic, but to go through such trouble would only inconvenience everyone in my family and cost a lot of money that we are already spending as a family. I can't do that to people that I care about. Decisions like taking off by yourself to see a pop star anywhere in England are for the single and childless. Not for the likes of me. 

If I were able to see Morrissey perform in England on his current tour, I would like to see him in Grimsby. Its the name. I love it! It sounds like the name of an undertaker in a Dickens novel. Is there a more perfect place to see a pop star who is known for his melancholia? I think not. I'd love to be able to say, "I saw Morrissey in Grimsby."

The closest I ever came to seeing Morrissey that I am aware of was when I lived in Dublin in 1990. Imagine my disappointment when I met some friends at Temple Bar as they said, "You just missed Morrissey. He was in that record shop about ten minutes ago!" as a huge crowd dispersed.
Los Angeles
Heaven only knows how close I have been to bumping into him living here just outside of Los Angeles. But as I have indicated before, I just wouldn't be aware enough to realize that Morrissey was anywhere near me.

Despite the tone in this blog, I am extremely happy and excited to be going to England at all and that we can spend so much time there with family and friends. I think this blog might be more exciting if I were to write about my time on a Smiths tour in Manchester or my experience seeing Moz perform. But I am not that sad for myself-not really.

Sometimes you just have to bask in the beauty and the tragedy of unrequited love.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Happy Unhappy Birthday!

Event Poster
Planning to go out with your significant other when you have three children requires much more obviously than with just one child who can somewhat easily be carted off to grandmas's for the evening. Its especially difficult if you have school and work the next day and your children start school at different times. Its complicated even further if you, yourself, are a teacher and are expected to greet children or teenagers with  bright smiley faces at 7:45 AM the next day and have an exciting lesson planned.

Despite these obstacles Roland and I were able to make things happen with the help of grandma and my friend Kim. In fact it worked out well because the boys stayed the night with grandma and Kim allowing us to feel tired and run down without any interruptions from younger family members Monday morning..

Cops and Robbers and Jesus, Oh My!
I have to say that our trip to the House of Blues was rather surreal. Honestly, its experiences like ours that deters  Orange County people from ever leaving the Orange Curtain and venturing into Los Angeles. First of all, we got off the 101 freeway and drove down Sunset Boulevard and then had to pull aside for twelve unmarked police cars. We have no idea where they were going but it was extremely noisy and were grew a little concerned about whatever might be the cause of it. I mean, I was concerned that there might be some incident at the House of Blues-perhaps some crazed Morrissey fan got carried away with the whole Unhappy Birthday thing. I was also concerned for a homeless man who was so off his head he walked out into traffic in front of the speeding police cars and waved at them. He was waving at them like, "I'm over here." I was afraid to watch him because he nearly got run over by the cops. I selfishly thought that may ruin my evening.

Next, we passed a parking lot attendant that appeared to be getting attacked by some thugs. He was older and was dodging fists and a lead pipe. We made a U-turn to investigate and when we saw the attendant he was just sitting in a chair in  the parking lot looking relaxed. Like nothing had happened. Perhaps I only imagined it. After all, Roland hadn't seen it.

Finally, what I saw next was not an apparition since  Roland saw it as well. As we approached the Comedy Store we saw Jesus. Yes, indeed! I wish only that I had my camera ready because it was so unbelievable! He was wearing a long robe and sandals and a benevolent expression. Its almost as if he next would most likely outstretch his arms like the giant Jesus statue in Rio De Janiero, Brazil to bless us all. I theorized it was a homeless man while Roland thought it was some actor hired by the Comedy Store. I just don't understand why the Comedy Store would find Jesus funny.

Get Me a Drink
Once inside we beelined it for the bar-obviously.

Not Target. Saxs Fifth Avenue
In my previous post, I said that The Sweet and Tender Hooligans were like the Target version of The Smiths. I have to disagree with that. I expected the show to be kind of hokey-after all, it isn't REALLY The Smiths. But the band were so good that I would say they are more like the Nordstrom of The Smiths or the Saxs Fifth Avenue of The Smiths. Honestly, Jose Maldonado has such a great Morrissey voice.

The musicians were fantastic. They even brought out some string musicians for a few of the numbers.

Something contagious happens when a band looks like they are enjoying themselves-the audience tends to feel that energy and goes with it.

I expected that The Sweet and Tender Hooligans might try to "be" Morrissey and The Smiths. I mean sort of take on the role as actors. I dreaded that possibility. But thankfully the band does not seem to be afraid to take from The Smiths and make it their own. For example when the lead singer sang "Ganglord"with only the stringed instruments, it was refreshing to hear an old favorite presented in a different format. He also sings some of the songs in Spanish.

As I was singing along with perhaps 1500 Smiths and Morrissey fans, I thought about the beauty and strangeness of the fact that probably the vast majority of these people singing together have sat, at some time alone in their rooms or wherever and felt the same gnawing emotions that drew us to words and music that we so identify or identified with. How ironic that we were together in lonely words. You can't reach out to people on Facebook if you feel that way. You can however when you commune with people who know the words to the songs you seemingly claimed as your own.

After that realization, I laughed uncontrollably suddenly remembering that I saw Jesus outside the Comedy Store!

Our Self-portrait at the Bar

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Genetically Engineered Moz Fan

Jose Maldonado. Otherwise known as the "Mexican Morrissey."
 Despite the doubt that many have when they see me, I am of  English, Irish and Mexican descent. I was thinking about this and wondered if I am predisposed to being a Morrissey fan. I mean, the English and Irish part are pretty obvious-Morrissey's from England with Irish parents. The Mexican part, well, Morrissey has been hugely popular with Mexicans and Mexican Americans. In an interview I saw he said its because he's a crooner and Mexicans like a crooner. Therefore, it was obviously destiny that made me like The Smiths and Morrissey. Its not my fault. Its the blood in my veins.

Unfortunately my ethnic mix also makes me predisposed to alcoholism but that's another story.

I live with "Girl Afraid" guitar riffs running through my brain.

Its actually kind of funny to be Mexican American and not look the part at all. Its kind of like spying on the white population so if they complain about "those Mexicans" I can let them know my background and embarrass them. On the other hand, when or if a Mexican American person accuses me of being a racist, I can just laugh.Its actually convenient in a politically correct kind of way.

Its going to be great fun traveling with Enrique and Miguel this summer in England. I imagine they will be the only Mexicans on the Isle of Wight. Apart from that, its just going to be great fun showing them around.

We finally received the paper work for them to get their Mexican passports so they may go on this trip! This has been an area of concern for months now. Naturally, we are all extremely excited to be going.

Speaking of Mexicans again, I have booked tickets to see a Smiths tribute band called Sweet and Tender Hooligans in Los Angeles next Sunday. The singer is known as the Mexican Morrissey or something like that. They are playing with a Cure cover band called The Curse. Love the name! I figure since there isn't really a chance for me to catch up with Moz in the UK while I am there, I can see a cheaper version. The Target version of The Smiths.

That is actually a complement. I like Target! Its going to be fun, I'm sure.

Viva la raza!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Drop Yer Trousers to the (Celebrity) World

My handsome man and me with my celebrity tiara.

 "Someone so cute should not be allowed to wear something so ugly." Roland Jones regarding my pajamas (T-shirt and gross shorts).

 Today is Mother's Day. Today is my celebrity day.

To start my special day the cat woke me by licking my eyebrows and any other exposed skin at approximately 6 AM which is kind of unpleasant in a sweet way and my dad sent me a text at about 6:30 AM which was very nice but very early when my iphone dinged or whatever the sound is that it makes when you get a message. Oliver woke me then with a card, Roland, my husband, generously fed the cat and then Enrique and Miguel woke up so they could give me their cards.

I'd like to mention that I was up until 2 AM. No, not partying. Just listening to music and reading. Everyone else was asleep. It was lovely.

Here is a sneak peek at Oliver's card that he made at school:

My mother's name is Andrea.
She is 40-something.
She weighs about 80 pounds. (Bless him-although I would be very ill if I weighed that much!)
My mom spends time doing things like doing work.(Boring)
Her favorite food is bananas.
Her favorite TV show is the news.
Mom likes to wear flower t-shirts in the summer.
Her favorite toys are Legos.
It really bugs my mom when I wipe my butt on her (I could explain this but I'm not)
The thing my mom likes best about me is everything except when I wipe my butt on her.
Mom is always tired.(Sad, but true)
I wish my mom could sing better. (So do I!)
I show my mom how much I love her by giving her presents.
I love to hug my mom because I love her.
I love my mom. She's really nice sometimes.

I know the last part does not make me sound like an angel. He's being honest as any seven year old. Who is nice all the time?

In honor of my special day, I decided to follow through with my pledge to have the kids pick out some music at Amoeba today and then perhaps we can have lunch at The Cat and Fiddle in Hollywood. I love the patio there on a sunny day. The hope is then that we share music.

Enrique would be excited if we saw any celebrities while we are in Hollywood but he's out of luck if he needs someone to point them out to him. I have absolutely no interest in that kind of thing and would not recognize a celebrity if they came up to me and slapped me across the face! Even Morrissey. I would probably just think, "That guy looks kind of like Morrissey." And then, "Ouch, why did he just slap me?"

Plus everyone is a celebrity these days so its hard to tell who's who. Last time we were in Hollywood, I very cruelly yelled out, "There's a wrestler!" to get Miguel's attention since he was so engrossed in some kind of technology and he is obsessed with WWE wrestling. Which gets me wondering how entertaining it would be to just run up to a random person in a busy touristy section of Hollywood and ask them for their autograph. I wonder if other people would see that and ask for their autograph too while asking, "Who are you anyway?"

I think we all want to be recognized for something. I think its fair enough but it cheapens celebrity when some people get attention for nothing.

My family's present to me is a gift certificate to buy some new pajamas!

We are on our way to Hollywood (Hollywierd). I shall update later.

Oliver looking stern.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Drop Yer Trousers to the Queen/Hair Dare 2

Tammis the bride at her (first) wedding, 1978

 All hail Queen Tammis! Tammis bravely submitted this photo from 1978 to share with the world. Tammis is the bride in the photo, by the way. She not only bravely submitted it, but also she bravely went to Martinello's Beauty College the day before her wedding and had her hair permed by a beauty school student. I am not too surprised just because Tammis is pretty fearless. She is a high school secretary. Need I say more?

Aside from the hairdos, I have to say the dresses are pretty amazing as well. The flower headdresses are worth mentioning -I had to wear one in a wedding once. It wasn't my wedding! Ahh the 70s. How I do not miss thee and thy fashions.

It has been an amazingly busy week. I have not had time to write much. I will catch up in the next day or so. Until then, enjoy!