Well, I Wonder

Me circa 1995 when I started teaching and still had one foot out the door.  

Being an artist is the noblest thing one can do: finding beauty and meaning where none exist. Art is a sublime delusion. MorrisseysWorld via Twitter


My friend Rafe recently sent me this picture he took when we shared a flat. He's an excellent photographer so we messed around a bit with photos during that time. But it made me think about the fact that it was taken pretty close to the time when I began my career as a teacher.


I Hoarsely Cry, Why . . .
It's amazing that I stayed in the profession after my first two weeks of teaching in a rough neighborhood in Los Angeles. My second week of work I had a fight in my classroom with two middle school girls both taller than me-I am 5'10"-and a drive by shooting. All on the same day!

Although I no longer teach under those conditions, teaching is a sensitive subject. I have avoided writing much about it for various reasons. One, its kind of boring. Two, there are numerous frustrations associated with it. Three, its dangerous in that teachers have lost jobs over what they put out there in the cyber world. Do I need to list numbers four through ten?


Gasping But Somehow Still Alive
I, like perhaps many other people on this planet, long to join the nobility of creators. Teaching does allow you to create. The teacher is the writer, the producer the actor the bouncer and sometimes even their own audience. And yeah, the audience is quite literally "captive." 


More about the audience: try finding a more critical and discerning group of people than teenagers. 


However, most of the time it is not art.


I will be brutally honest and say that teaching is not my passion. I am passionate about teaching. But I'd rather be writing. I've always had one foot out the door.


I admire those artists who were willing to starve themselves rather than settle for a more secure occupation. Patti Smith is one.I read her memoir  Just Kids during the summer A great book called Pan and another called Hunger in which the author, Knut Hamson, describes in great detail the sacrifices a true artist makes to pursue his or her craft puts into perspective the heroics of holding fast to your dreams.


I just wonder if we all strive for more? Is it just a few of us? Are there people in the world who long to be accountants or customer service representatives in their wildest dreams?


As I spend more and more time in the Twitterdilly Arms with my kindred souls, do they feel a longing? Are we reaching out for Morrissey's hand or lapel because it represents the greatness that we could not attain? By holding onto them are we vicariously "great."?


Please Keep Me in Mind
I would venture to say that in all likelihood, the Twitterdillians are a talented group. I don't know what each of their passions are.  In fact, for all I know they could already be doing what they are passionate about.


Mr. Rat at http://followingthemozziah.blogspot.com/ has written a parody that is quite entertaining and of course if you like poetry and literature you will want to check out
biblioecubyan.wordpress.com-also created by a Twitterdillian.


But by the mere fact that they appreciate art through Moz, then I know that they must be able to recognize true art elsewhere as well. I think, too, they dream of more.

Those Wonderful People Out There in the Dark

Twitterdilly Arms
I am one of "those wonderful people out there in the dark." In the darkness I found an island. It's a pub called The Twitterdilly Arms.

After all my whinging last week in my blog about being unlovable on Twitter, I received a message from a kindred spirit. On Twitter! From a Mr. Rat who writes a blog that you should read if you haven't already and if you want to read a blog that REALLY is about Morrissey. Its called Following the Mozziah: http://followingthemozziah.blogspot.com. I highly recommend it. Anyway, he informed me that contrary to what I thought, my blog has been seen and perhaps read by Morrissey people.

And when I mentioned the bit about the fake Moz being so witty like the real one-he told me that it really IS him. In fact, if you read his blog from start to finish, you see that there is a strong argument for it being the real Morrissey.

Much to my surprise, MorrisseysWorld retweeted my blog last week too.

Because I don't really update people on things that are happening in the world of Morrissey, you probably don't know exactly what I am talking about. Let me explain: There is a blog called Morrisseysworld or something like it, and Morrissey has come out three times on his website True-to-You.net claiming that it is not really him. The dreaded three times as in Simon Peter denying Jesus three times perhaps? Methinks he protests too much.

The mere fact that he has come out and thereby drawn attention to a relatively unknown blog perhaps reveals that the announcement was purposely made to draw attention to it. Again, a better, more full account is available on Mr. Rat's blog.

True to You
True to You is a neglected web magazine for fans of Morrissey. Its like a garden overgrown with weeds from 2004 or 2007. It has some great things on it, it just hasn't been updated apart from the weekly or biweekly statements Morrissey makes. Which I have to say brighten my day when they come out.

I strongly feel that so much more could be done with it.

Back to the Arms
So what do you do in a virtual pub based around Morrissey? You theorize, commiserate, listen to awesome music and videos from YouTube based around the man himself. You share with all the other people in the "pub."

So, I am still not in the quad but I am instead part of a cooler group outside of the quad. I feel pretty damn popular.

Can I even begin to tell you the divine feeling I get from communicating with other people out there who like Morrissey as much as I do or even more? I am not alone in my need to check True to You and Facebook pages dedicated to Morrissey. There are other people totally approachable who share my obsession. There are people who see what I see in him.

I'm not really so strange then.

So Low
There is an unofficial Morrissey website called Morrissey So-Lo, and you would have thought that that might be a place for the other non quad dwellers to find a home. But the few times I have been there were just a waste of time. People are not very kind to each other for various reasons. Some people have this unsaid competition about who is more the Morrissey fan than the other and then start mud slinging so to speak. Its also not monitored well so people can say unkind things about Morrissey just to infuriate another person and it gets quite ugly. A hostile environment does not suit my personality.

In contrast, the Twitterdilly Arms is friendly and warm. I mean, just think of the name. Arms. Arms hug you and welcome you. And the word Twitterdilly just sounds kind of silly. Laughter. Twittering about being silly. Nothing hostile in that.

So in between teaching classes and toting kids around I have been tweeting. Believe it or not. I know now when I wake up in the middle of the night due to insomnia, I have people. Its safe being one of the wonderful  people out here in the dark.

Friends of the Friendless
The following scene from I Love Lucy accurately depicts my feelings at discovering my awesome new group of friends.

Unloveable (On Twitter)

You Don't Have to Tell Me
No one loves me on Twitter.

I do not tell you this out of  a need to evoke sympathy. Perhaps I should be pat on the back-I'm not quite sure.

Admittedly, I am newish to the world of Twitter and all it's seeming "delights". I have 7 followers and follow 31 people. By looking at other more "successful" twitterers, I have come to the conclusion that the hugely popular people have more followers than they follow.

It's just like high school. I am again relegated to eating lunch outside the theater instead of the quad with all the popular kids.

I Don't Have Much in My Life 
From what I have observed with my limited time exploring the world of Twitter, it seems that if you write something particularly amusing or shocking you get attention by people retweeting or sending your message or status further out into the cyber landscape so your words can be admired or laughed at. Those words will essentially live on.

I, perhaps somewhat bitterly, am not capable of shocking or funny quips to interest people. Can I just say in my defense that I haven't even tried?

Ironically, it seems that if you have the time to spend on Twitter, you do not have time to spend doing things that make your life interesting enough to post on your status.

Again, like high school-its not that the popular people ARE popular. Its just that they think they are and they occupy the quad uncontested.

So Take It It's Yours
If you are famous, you pretty much can tweet that you are making a bowl of cereal and then you will be retweeted and  receive loads of replies-lots of attention.

I'm not joking.

Message Received Loud and Clear 
So, I am pretty much ignored. But at the same time, I do not feel motivated to do much about it.

I confess that I follow Boy George, who tweets fairly often. And I sent him a couple of replies, but what am I supposed to say about his porridge breakfast, or his pictures of attractive naked or near naked men? What can I, a mere English teacher of 46 years, have to say that would interest him enough to reply or even take notice?  Do I care?

Morrissey does not appear to have a real Twitter account. There is the fake Mozzer. He/She is pretty funny. I mean, the Mozzer at least has sharp quips-not completely unlike the real one.

I kind of prefer to think of the real Morrissey as re-reading a classic novel like Crime and Punishment anyway.

Hell, I'm not even noticed by MozArmy or Morrissey followers. But its probably because I don't write much about him.

I peek in at the "quad" filled with Morrissey followers every now and again. Then wonder why I was not invited, but turn away and go back to my lunch outside the theater.

I Wear Black on the Outside Because Black is How I Feel on the Inside
Basically, Twitter is not for those with low self image.

It will probably make you feel pretty badly about yourself if you take it seriously.


I think back to my time as a waitress. My limited time. I was the world's worse waitress. I move way too slowly and I am not that interested in other people's needs or comfort. So I sucked. I forgot to bring mustard or napkins or extra ketchup and had to force myself to walk with any kind of urgency when customers had a limited break. I lost every waitressing job I ever had.

Just on a side note: the only place I was ever a waitress was in Dublin in the early 90s, I think they had high expectations of my American work ethic.

But after feeling like complete shit, I had to laugh to myself. Is it the end of the world to be the World's Worst Waitress?

Is it the end of the world that I am no one on Twitter? Or in the cyber world at all?

Nah. I'd rather reread Crime and Punishment anyway.

Weegee Bored

Weegee and his camera

 "The worshippers of stars are a heroic clan."--Weegee

Our Visit to MOCA in Los Angeles (Museum of Contemporary Art)
Being on holiday for two weeks is awesome! Its great to have time to do basically, nothing. Yet, after about a week, the beaming smile turns just into a straight line. Kind of bored. Grateful. But bored.

When you have three bored kids it reaches a point where you will die if you have to entertain them another minute or else you will kill them. Then, you think, Ah. Culture. That's what we need. A bit of culture!

We piled the feuding kids in the mini van and drove to downtown LA. The traffic was horrific and the kids were bickering and it was plain miserable. We considered turning around and heading back home but we were determined since we'd already invested an hours drive.

By the time we exited the freeway, we had been on the road for nearly two hours! Then, we had troubles following the poorly marked signs for the museum so we had to pull over and find the directions from the website. Luckily, it wasn't too far from the warehouse district which is where we ended up-fruits and veggies and sea food are interesting, but, not exactly a charming part of town. Kind of smelly.

We discovered that we had to park in the Disney Concert Hall parking lot. We did that quite easily. We had to pay $20 for parking but were guaranteed $11 change when we left. (It's true). It was no problem as a working adult, but that would have been quite a sacrifice back in my student days!

Of all our kids I would say Jovanny (Enrique) was the most excited since he loves art and galleries. Oliver is pretty open to the idea. He has studied a bit about art and artists through a program at his school call Meet the Masters. Miguel, on the other hand, would probably rather have a root canal than go to a museum of any kind. He has very specific interests-WWE (Wrestling) and video games (mostly of WWE wrestling).  His body exudes boredom and disinterest as he follows you about-waiting. Waiting. Looking at you and waiting. Not looking. He actually will look at the blank ceiling or wall rather than the art that is hung upon it. Art, to Miguel, is not to be experienced. It is to be tolerated.

Sculpture outside MOCA

We Finally Arrive!
Bearing  the time it took to get there, the traffic, the price of parking and then attitudes and then imagining the traffic on the road home, Roland and I were kind of grumpy. Kind of wondering if it was all really worth it. 

We decided to split up. Jovanny on his own, Oliver with Roland, and me and Miguel. My task was not an easy one. But, remember, I am a teacher. A teacher must always find a way. Give us a rubber band and a paper clip and we might make an airplane. You never know!

How to Interest the Disinterested?
So I had an hour to try to make the museum a little less boring for Miguel. My technique: identify one piece of art he finds the most interesting in each room and tell me why. I know, its such a teacher-like thing to do. But, it worked to an extent. The only problem was that he didn't take too long to find somthing. There wasn't enough time for me to examine the works I was interested in. So once he found his art piece and read the information about it, he was done. And then he did the waiting thing.

Those Were the Days My Friend
Gone are the days when I could stroll into a museum and quietly examine what intrigued me. After about an hour I would have a cup of tea or coffee in the cafe reading more about what I loved. Or just reading a book. Then, I would casually stroll through more of the museum and leave WHEN I FELT LIKE IT!

Miguel "enjoying" some sculpture

My method got us through the first gallery which consisted of some well-known artists such as Piet Mondrian and Andy Warhol among many others. Miguel found some of the modern art amusing such as the white canvas of Mark Rothko.

Or Not
I reached a point, by the time we entered the next exhibit, that I just stopped worrying about him. I'd given up. I focused rather on the Weegee Naked Hollywood photography section. Besides, I couldn't really apply my technique here. Miguel was pretty good about it, but I sensed his innate boredom.

Naked Hollywood Exhibit
Weegee was a photographer who became well-known in New York for his photos of New York City. He came to Los Angeles in 1947 and spent about four years here photographing film premieres, Hollywood award ceremonies to skid row and strip joints. He published a book of his photographs called Naked Hollywood. He is perhaps best known for his distorted images of celebrities.

I love this portrayal of Hollywood. It's true that things are literally distorted here and Weegee's art just demonstrates this idea so well. This was an exhibit that really interested me as a fan of a celebrity. Weegee, in fact, stopped taking so many photos of the stars and turned the cameras on the fans. He found them more interesting.

He also found mannequins interesting, but for a different reason-I hope!

Icon Exhibit

Jovanny spent the whole time in the Kenneth Anger short film exhibit where he noted all the "Lady Gaga references." Of course he does not realize that as lovely as she is Lady Gaga is one big reference to other artists and performers.

Shhh. Don't tell him!

Marilyn by Weegee

I have to say that by the time we all walked out of the museum, we felt pretty good. The ray of sunshine was back in our lives.Perhaps Miguel  learned how to keep himself at least a little bit interested in art. I'm glad he gave it a try!

The traffic back to the OC was lovely!

If you are in the Los Angeles area and are interested in seeing this exhibit or any of the other works of modern art on display, its good to know that MOCA is free every Thursday from 5-8. Website: www.moca.org

A New Sweet and Tender Hooligan

 Sweet and Tender Hooligans at Anaheim House of Blues

My nephew, Cody, attends school at Tustin High, where Roland and I teach. Yes, I know it must be a "boost" to his social life! Lately Cody has been riding with me, Miguel and Oliver in the mornings to school and naturally, I listen to Morrissey or The Smiths every now and again. Naturally. Cody said that he liked Morrissey's music especially Years of Refusal having never heard of The Smiths or Morrissey before. As a Christmas present and to encourage an awesome taste in music, I took him to see the Sweet and Tender Hooligans at the House of Blues in Anaheim. Roland and I decided to see them again during our break. Let me rephrase that: I decided that we were going.


It must be a nightmare being married to someone like me sometimes.

The gig was in Anaheim so no adventure stories trying to get there. No detectable wierdos. Pretty dull.

 Strangelove
The Sweet and Tender Hooligans were supported by a Depeche Mode tribute band called Strangelove.  They were excellent. Technically, they had every move and every note and piece of syth equipment down-just like DM. Problem: its no longer the 80's and Depeche Mode seems kind of boring for an hour or more. They are very "of their time" in my opinion.

Let's face it. How many times can you watch Dave Gahan twirl around with a microphone stand? I kept waiting for him to accidentally hit one of his band mates. I kept imagining it. Not quite hoping.

On the other hand, DM were extremely popular in Southern California back in the day. The audience at Anaheim HOB seemed to know the words to nearly every song.

Gig Legs
It was difficult watching Cody, a mere seventeen year old, at his first gig hanging onto the wall so that he could stay on his feet. It made me impressed with my own 46 year-old legs and feet. That they were seemingly stronger!! My gig legs.

We were kind of situated near a corner by the bar and a door leading to the stage, I guess. It had a pretty good view, but the down side was that everyone and their dog had to pass by us to get to the bar. It was an All Ages event and we saw a child or two younger than Oliver there but I couldn't imagine taking anyone younger than Cody unless they had such a keen interest in Morrissey and the Smiths that they could withstand the noise, the drunkeness and the debachery.

The gig itself was like one big singalong with fellow Morrissey/Smiths people. Jose Maldonado is a spot on performer and the band is obviously extremely talented. Jose has a great voice and he dances like Morrissey used to back when we were younger. I wanted to dance like that again, but I was self-conscious. My gig legs could do it though, I'm sure.

Roland and Cody leaning on the wall

A good tribute band gig is like receiving Holy Communion. I've noted this before when seeing this band. Its like all the lonely people have crawled out of their holes and decided to not be so lonely for an hour or so. Not in a sad way. In a celebratory way. Its reassuring to know that lyrics like Morrissey's speak to so many people. And you aren't alone in your identification with the meanings.

While it was awesome for me, I am not sure what Cody made of it all. He does not know the lyrics to any of the songs except for Throwing My Arms Around Paris. Although I think he appreciated it, it was not great fun for him. He really did have a hard time staying on his feet.

Therefore, we ended up leaving a little early so that I could get my coat easily from the coat check and we could get out of the parking lot without hassles. On our way out, I spotted the performer from Strangelove who impersonates Martin Gore. He had on an amazing outfit and he kindly let me take a photo with him. Wish you could see his shoes in the photo.

We complemented his voice since he really does have a fantastic one, only to learn later that he is a classically trained opera singer. I am glad we complemented him, but he probably knows this already.

Me with Brent, otherwise known as Martin

Love Ya, Jose. But . . .
I only have one tiny bit of criticism for Jose of Sweet and Tender Hooligans: when addressing a crowd from the OC, instead of changing the words in Hairdresser on Fire from "all around Sloane Square" to "all around Manhatten Beach", maybe say "Newport Beach" instead. Its not a big deal, but it shows awareness of our plight as people in the OC. Trust me, we exist and have existed next to some snobby- ass rich people. You don't need to drive clear to Los Angeles to find them!

Dance with Morrissey
I began to think of my Morrissey fantasy. Strange as it may sound I just want to dance with him in that twisty Smiths/80s kind of way. Perhaps one day . . .

Inspired Dancing by Jose Maldonado

Not So Shriney
So. it was interesting finding out that Moz did not enjoy singing to a "mass of hair" at the Shrine-according to True to You.net. Morrissey's official website. I was so overjoyed to simply be there and then wondered why there was no encore. Well, I know now. Its understandable. Interesting to get a new perspective.

Merry Christmas
My family had a very Merry Christmas and hope you did too! 

Am I Still Well?

Oliver at Anaheim Stadium for CIF Championship game Tustin vs. El Toro

 I have quite a few things to talk about this week. Firstly, I am off school for the holidays. Friday was our last day. Although we are off from school, we have been busy doing fun things. Unfortunately, Miguel and Oliver got sick. That was the only bad thing. Somehow, I have not become sick . . . yet. I eyed the Airborne in the cupboard a minute ago and I think it might be a good idea to take it.

Meat is Still Murder
Secondly, I finally gave up eating meat altogether. I have never been a big fan of meat, but I feel disgusted when I think of the loss of life. In all honesty, I think that writing this blog about my feelings on the issue after seeing the Morrissey gig, kind of did it for me. It emblazoned my feelings on the meat industry and animal rights and then gave me the will to give it up. My new motto: LIFE TASTES GOOD!

Young the Giant (Still)
Roland and I went to the Galaxy Theater in Santa Ana to see Young the Giant. It was a perfect night to see them as they are all from the OC and it was the last night of their tour this year-although they play the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles in February. Another reason it was a perfect night to see them is because the concert was actually a benefit for the Irvine Public Schools Foundation. The proceeds help to keep music programs up in the public schools in the Irvine area. What a generous gift of their time and talents!

You may (or may not) recall that Morrissey likes this band saying they have 
"the perfect tone ... and Sameer's voice is unbreakable. If there is any justice in the world (and we all know there isn't) Young The Giant will own most of it by August. It's so easy to fire out remnants of snobbery where new music is concerned (in fact, I find it VERY easy), but once every three thousand years, a band comes along who restore that precious component of faith. Had I the gift of adequate words I would express more than mere thanks."

Because it was a "hometown" gig, we had special treats. High school friends and orchestra members came up to play a song. Also, there was a competition between classes in the three different high schools in the Irvine district to use a song by Young the Giant in an advertising campaign for the foundation. We were able to see the winner. Great job, high school kids! But the most important reason for the hometown gig being so very good, was that the audience was so into it-after all, they are OC heroes!!!

It was a charity event for public schools, so there were many teachers as far as I could tell. Whenever I saw anyone looking slightly middle-aged and wearing comfortable shoes, I suggested to Roland that they were teachers. Who knows? They could have been record executives, I guess. Dare I mention the fact that they were in all likelihood, saying the exact same thing about me?

To drive the point home even further, I saw a student that I had last year in my senior AP class. I grabbed her hand as she walked by. But I can't say whether or not she recognized me. It was undeniably dark in The Galaxy and she was probably wondering what in the hell this middle aged woman was doing. She looked embarrassed. So, either she was embarrassed because she did not know what to say since she did not recognize me or else she really didn't want to recognize me. I mean, she was holding hands with a guy-possibly a boyfriend. Let's face it, you don't exactly grow in estimation in the musician/band/gig goer circles when you are best buddies with a high school English teacher.

I forgive her.
 
Back to the actual gig. It was energetic and lively. Again, lots of kids. The opening act was a band called Tapioca and the Flea. They, too, were lively and fun. Very different. I wasn't sure what to make of them. The lead singer looks like your average  guy you might see at the grocery store and then he moves his butt around and sings groovy lyrics into a microphone. Fun. The only thing I did not like at times was the distortion of the vocals. It was different, but I could not understand the lyrics at all. I just wanted to be able to at least know what the refrain was.

As far as the lead act, as I stated before, it was a home town gig so they did not need to win the crowd over. The audience just anticipated what the next song was going to be and sang along in unison. As Morrissey more eloquently said, Sameer's voice is strong and amazing. The rest of the band is obviously very talented. Great tuneful melodies.

Here is a recording somebody there made. No doubt a young person barely hanging on to her camera but it gives the feel of being there rather accurately.

Other News Still

Tustin High School's football team has won the CIF Championship. We attended the final game at Angel Stadium and were not expected to win at all. Our team was awesome. Really proud of those kids. First championship win since 1948.

You may not know this. While Irvine hails Young the Giant, we (Tustin) have the most former NFL players from our school than any other school in the nation. I know it isn't academic. But its interesting. I have a good friend and fellow English teacher who has stopped teaching to write a book about our coach. I am excited for her and, well, slightly jealous.

My day will come. My day will come!

Shine at the Shrine

Morrissey from our actually awesome seats at the Shrine in Los Angeles

 My Evening with Morrissey (and a few other people)
I have to disappoint you this time. Nothing bizarre occurred on our drive to Los Angeles to see . . . BUM BUM BUM BUM . . . HIM. It was totally uneventful. Roland and I had a very necessary conversation about Enrique's grades that have dropped a little. (Although, he likes to be called Joe now).I will not bore you with it, but even had we glanced up, we would have seen nothing but cars, trees and lights. Not a sign of Jesus this time.

We did see a lot of USC fans when we exited the freeway.

We arrived early. I knew we needed to since UCLA and USC were playing in a football game and they are HUGE rivals so it was pretty busy along the road. We parked up and then made our way downstairs to the street and to find a bite to eat.

We ended up at an Italian place to eat. It was one of those places that is kind of like fast food, but isn't, where you have to place your order and then they bring it to your table but the food is not cheap and horrible like in a real fast food place. You got the sense that it was family owned and not a part of a huge chain. So it had kind of neighborhood charm, if you know what I mean.

USC vs. Morrissey
When we made our way to the Shrine, we saw quite clearly that all the people in black were heading to the Shrine to see Morrissey and all the people in red and yellow were headed to the Colosium to see the game. It was almost striking as we turned the corner and the USC people kept going straight.

I was probably the only Morrissey fan wearing USC colors. Silly me. I did not even realize when I left.

Waiting at the Shrine in USC red (me)

The Building
The Shrine has in interesting history and like most historic buildings, is lovely to look at. I did not take a photo because I only had my phone with no flash so its kind of difficult to take decent pictures. To take a good picture I would also need to be further away from it-not standing right in front of it.

Its actually a building that houses a branch of the Masonic Temple, which was why there was a huge picture of a man wearing a fez on the wall when we walked in. I tried to take a picture but it did not come out very well because it was one of those pictures that has a light behind it. Again, I had poor photo equipment. Anyway, part of King Kong was filmed in the theater and the Academy Awards were held here for a time as well. The Shrine has been there since the 1920s, which isn't very long if you are from Europe but undeniably long if you are from California.

Don't Leave Home With . . .
Before we entered the Shrine there was a huge list of things we were not allowed to bring in the venue, I mean HUGE. Basically, you could bring your wallet and some lipstick. I had some Halloween candy in my purse and I had to throw it away-it was for Oliver. I also had to throw away my water but I gave it to a palm tree who might have been thirsty. Then I had to be frisked in case I brought in any contraband, This was another reason it was good to get there early. I can't even imagine how long the wait would have been to get in when they had to frisk people one at a time. They had more than one line, but still. It was sold out and the venue holds over 6000 people! Eeek!

 7" Vinyl
We shaed a glass-or plastic cup-of wine before looking over the PETA table. They had some cool stickers so I stuck on a Meat is Murder sticker since I thought it was most appropriate. Then I wanted to check out the merchandise. Here is where I show I am not that great of a fan since I did not buy anything. It came at the end of the month before Christmas and I have three kids. I just didn't see the point. Roland and I laughed because there was a huge cardboard cut out of Morrissey naked except a 7" vinyl record that was autographed and someone asked where it was signed. The guy working had to look it over so carefully to find where Morrissey had signed it. We thought it would be great if the 7" vinyl were removable Velcro and he had signed it under the record.

One piece of merchandise I loved was the shopping bag that said, "Shop lifters of the world unite." But I just did not want to spend money I don't really have. Perhaps I should have done the most ironic thing and shop shoplifted the bag.

Our Seats
I knew we were in the nose bleed section and that there is no way that I would make any sort of eye contact with Morrissey from where I was, but it turned out that while we were up on the balcony, we were just above where the man who operates the projector was set up. There was nothing in front of us, therefore, when other people were standing, we were able to see perfectly. We even had an iron bar in front of us to lean on. Life is good.

Shrine on

 We were earthquakingly close to the giant chandalier. Didn't want to think about it.

Kristeen Young
I love getting to a gig early not just to take in the atmosphere and avoid ugly traffic, but to see the opening act. In this case it was a beautiful and talented woman by the name of Kristeen Young. She is kind of avant garde in her demeanor and yet kind of retro. I am mainly referring to her appearance but perhaps the same can be said for her music although only those two words could not do her justice.

I feel kind of sorry for the opening act. After all, most of the time people aren't there to see them. They are like the appetizer to a large entree. And out walked this extremely brave woman playing keyboards on her own with no band. Just her and her voice.

It was kind of 80s like Kate Bush, I guess. An amazing voice. When I saw that she just had keyboards I grew concerned. The last time I saw a solo performer with keyboards was at Tiangle Square in Costa Mesa with Roland. There was a kind of sad closet musician playing electronica from the 80s. Bad electronica in a sad voice. It was like he had been locked away in his room listening to the stuff he was singing and decided to venture out one night on a whim. He mustered up enough courage to perform live (for free) at this soon to be abandoned shopping center. The people in charge probably thought they'd give the place one last hurrah before bailing. Anyway, you get the picture of my hesitation towards Kristeen Young.

She was fun to watch and she had some incredible songs lyrically and musically. This may not sound like a complement but she was not sad at all. She was energetic. Big contrast from Sad 80s Man.

Video Treat
While Kristeen was putting away her keyboards, etc., we were treated to some videos from the past-no doubt either chosen by our hero or else selected by someone who knows his taste well. Some of the artists were The New York Dolls, and Bridget Bardot. It culminated with an interview with author Shelagh Delany who recently passed away. She wrote the screenplay for the movie A Taste of Honey and she is a prime influence in Morrissey's life. I can't remember all of the artists since its been a few days now (I am writing this portion on 12/5). I can tell you that it was getting us filled with anticipation to see Morrissey. We knew he was up next. 

The Main Course
I can't tell you how happy I was to finally see Morrissey. There he was. Only 100 feet away from me. I thought about how long I have wanted to see him, be in the same room-all the near misses-and there I was. There we were. 

I don't want to go through the set list because I think that's pretty boring. But he started appropriately with I Want the One I Can't Have. Its difficult to pass unbiased judgment on your hero. I mean, he could have sauntered in and sang horribly off key and told me to go screw myself and I probably would have thought it was amazing. But he wasn't anywhere near that. The first song was quite energetic which was perfect since we had pent up energy ready to unfold with all our anticipation.

Oddly enough, as he was singing this first song, one of my colleagues from Tustin High happened to be there sitting nearby and she saw us and said hello. I am pretty amazed because the Shrine was sold out. We were packed into our seats like sardines. Hmm. Maybe if she saw me, Morrissey did!

I think the most memorable songs for me were Throwing My Arms Around Paris, Satellite of  Love, and Meat is Murder. But every song had something in the performance that made it special. Satellite of Love is a song by Lou Reed (of The Velvet Underground). I just like the way Morrissey sings it. Then, Meat is Murder, well, its just a powerful song. I couldn't actually watch the images in the background. I know they were images of slaughterhouses and what happens to your "food" before it arrives in your kitchen or on your plate. I just can't look. Some people were offended by Morrissey's comments about Thankskilling, but if you are there to see Morrissey you should know his stand on this issue. What harm is there in knowing where your food comes from? Perhaps we would be more grateful on Thanksgiving if we knew the sacrifices animals endured for our consumption. Its something we have a responsibility to think about.

Typically, Morrissey performs no more than an hour and a half. He says because his voice begins to get thrashed since he does all the singing pretty much. Its too hard on his vocal chords. So, he stopped and sadly there was no encore. I think it may have been because the security was not keeping most people off the stage during the last song Still Ill. No encore-no shirtless Morrissey tossing his sweaty shirt to the crowd although he did change his shirt. Good intentions, but no follow through.

Roland and I just sat in our seats starring at the stage as people began to clear it. Mouths agape. Lights on. Finally a security man reminded us that we needed to leave now. So we did.

To Mal or Not to Mal
Although we were tired, I wanted to attend an after concert event near the Shrine at a place called Mal's. It was DJed by Jose Maldonado, who heads a great Smiths cover band and a radio show on Indie 103. Roland was not interested, but I felt like, Hell, we've got a babysitter. When was the last time I stayed out until 12? But when we arrived in a very secluded part of town-complete with industrial businesses and trash containers perfect for tossing bodies, we discovered that we did not have money for the cover charge. No ATM close enough and we did not want to fight that USC traffic so we hopped on the freeway and headed homeish.

I was beaming even days after. It was such a memorable event for me.

On one of the Morrissey pages on Facebook someone posted that Morrissey had been to The Olde Shippe in Santa Ana (very close to me). I guess I would have felt worse had I not been to the concert. After all, I suspect its possible, just barely possible he was looking right at me . . .


Someone with better seats filmed the concert. Here is Satellite of Love: